{"id":309,"date":"2013-08-04T12:46:24","date_gmt":"2013-08-04T17:46:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/happykayakers.com\/?page_id=309"},"modified":"2013-10-11T17:26:37","modified_gmt":"2013-10-11T22:26:37","slug":"campground-etiquette","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/happykayakers.com\/?page_id=309","title":{"rendered":"Campground Etiquette"},"content":{"rendered":"

During my years of tenting and RVing, I’ve seen and heard of\u00a0 things that really defy comprehension. This is my tongue-in-cheek salute to the\u00a0 folks that cause so many tongues to wag in the campground and on the Internet.\u00a0 Any resemblance to people living or dead is purely coinci…… is purely\u00a0 coinciden……aww heck, I can’t even type it. <\/em>If you recognize yourself on this\u00a0 page, it’s probably because I’ve camped near you in the past or your exploits\u00a0 have been repeated around a few campfires.<\/p>\n

Rule #1:<\/b> Always remember that the rules are for\u00a0 everyone….else. If somebody mentions that you’re ruining their camping\u00a0 experience, be sure to tell them very loudly that you paid (insert number of\u00a0 $$$$$ here) so you can do whatever you want. At this point, logic and\u00a0 enunciation are meaningless, volume is everything. When in doubt about any of\u00a0 your actions, always refer to Rule #1.<\/p>\n

Rule #2:<\/b> The purpose of a campfire is to provide a navigational\u00a0 beacon to the space shuttle or other orbiting satellites. Build it up as high as\u00a0 you can, for as long as you can. Don’t worry if nearby campers start melting;\u00a0 you’re providing a valuable service to NASA. If they complain, they must be\u00a0 communists.<\/p>\n

Rule #3:<\/b> When camping in bear or raccoon country, leave your\u00a0 food scraps laying around the campsite at night. Your neighbors will surely\u00a0 enjoy the opportunity to interact with the local wildlife. You’re doing them a\u00a0 favor actually, especially if they’re light sleepers and sleep with a camera\u00a0 next to the bed.<\/p>\n

Rule #4:<\/b> If it’s not nailed down, then it must be complimentary\u00a0 – like the little soaps and shampoos in a hotel room. But don’t stop at the\u00a0 small stuff. Paper towels from the restroom is for rookies. Wasn’t the little\u00a0 woman nagging you about a new picnic table? They’re laying around all over the\u00a0 place. They probably multiply at night during the off season. Just load it up\u00a0 after dark the night before you leave (so as not to disturb your neighbors ;-),\u00a0 then drive out about 6 AM (more on early morning departure etiquette in a later\u00a0 rule). If you have extra room, grab a fire ring and one of those cute decorative\u00a0 planters by the office. Don’t worry – nobody’s at work that early.<\/p>\n

Rule #5:<\/b> You’re not just renting a site; you’re renting the\u00a0 entire campground. It’s true. Check the county real estate records. Your site\u00a0 isn’t listed on there but the entire campground is. So feel free to spread out\u00a0 when setting up. And if you need to cut through somebody else’s site on the way\u00a0 to the pool, go ahead – you paid for it all. They’re probably city folks anyway\u00a0 and don’t realize how much they miss that close neighborly contact.<\/p>\n

Rule #6: <\/b>When you go to a strange campground, the nice\u00a0 folks at the office are likely to give you a map with the site circled and a\u00a0 little squiggly line showing you how to get there. Just pretend to look at it in\u00a0 the office and absolutely do NOT look at it after you leave the office. Secret\u00a0 government studies have shown that looking at these maps may cause your hair to\u00a0 fall out, give you halitosis, or cause you to default on your mortgage. Instead,\u00a0 wander aimlessly through the campground looking for the best site. You’ll get to\u00a0 socialize with folks you meet on one way streets (as you’re going in the wrong\u00a0 direction). You’ll also have another opportunity to talk with the campground\u00a0 staff when you set up in someone else’s reserved site. And it’s just plain good\u00a0 practice to set up and break camp several times in one day.<\/p>\n

Rule #7:<\/b> Check out times are not carved in stone. You\u00a0 rented this site and it is yours until you are darn ready to leave. Take your\u00a0 time to carefully fold up that tent. That Fifth wheel waiting to park can drive\u00a0 around until you pull out. (Contributed by Dale AKA FormerBiker)<\/p>\n

Rule #8:<\/b> If you are a day user, don’t bother to pay the day use fee and\u00a0 park in the appropriate area. Just drive around until you find a camp site where\u00a0 the people have gone into town shopping. They have a tag on the camp site so the\u00a0 host will think you are the one who paid. (Contributed by Dale AKA FormerBiker)<\/p>\n

Rule #9:<\/b> If you find a site that you like and it is reserved, just remove\u00a0 the sign and no one will know. Now it is your site. Be sure to set up all of\u00a0 your stuff and then leave on a full day hike so they can’t throw you out.\u00a0 (Contributed by Dale AKA FormerBiker)<\/p>\n

Rule #10:<\/b> If you are camping with a dog you must NOT under any\u00a0 circumstances let your dog relieve himself on your own site. Walk your dog\u00a0 ‘only’ on other peoples sites, and the designated potty area is under your\u00a0 neighbors picnic table. Don’t worry, probably nobody ever used your current\u00a0 site for the same purpose.<\/i> (Contributed by A. Nonni Mouse)<\/p>\n

Rule #11:<\/b> This rule is probably best illustrated by a\u00a0 game. You’ll get the most enjoyment out of the game if you have several\u00a0 co-players – family or friends will do, but make sure both sexes are\u00a0 represented. Check the times on the nearest bath house when it will be closed\u00a0 for cleaning. 5 minutes before closing time send 1 person into each shower. Take\u00a0 long, hot showers. 20 or 30 minutes should do the trick. Don’t worry, the\u00a0 campground workers will enjoy the unscheduled break. Now, when they finally get\u00a0 in to clean the restrooms, wait until they have to leave for more paper towels.\u00a0 Then someone else sneak in and start another shower. They’ll probably get so far\u00a0 behind schedule that the owner will have to pay them overtime, so they\u00a0 appreciate the game also. For bonus points, when checking out complain to the\u00a0 owner or manager that it was almost impossible to get into the showers and they\u00a0 seemed to always be filthy. This will usually ensure that you have new\u00a0 campground players for your next visit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

During my years of tenting and RVing, I’ve seen and heard of\u00a0 things that really defy comprehension. This is my tongue-in-cheek salute to the\u00a0 folks that cause so many tongues to wag in the campground and on the Internet.\u00a0 Any resemblance to people living or dead is purely coinci…… is purely\u00a0 coinciden……aww heck, I can’t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-309","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/happykayakers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/309","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/happykayakers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/happykayakers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happykayakers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happykayakers.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=309"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/happykayakers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/309\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":341,"href":"https:\/\/happykayakers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/309\/revisions\/341"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/happykayakers.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=309"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}